Reason #3000 why I should get up and start cleaning the house. Yes, those are fingernails. No, they're not mine. I chew mine obsessively so they never get long enough to rip off like that.

I'm deeply disgusted and frustrated and anxious. I just went to do the dishes and found a worm/caterpillar of some sort on the counter. Decided to have a cup of coffee first to bolster myself. Christmas is causing me stress and I'm a weird combination of bored and frantic. Charlotte was worried earlier because her parents weren't back yet from their annual shopping trip (a few years ago they got in a pretty serious car accident) and she went to have a shower and hasn't returned. This was hours ago. I just tried calling her but the number I have has been disconnected. I feel like a crappy friend.

I don't have anything else to do on the computer, I've run through all my usual sites several times, but I"m also in no hurry to leave because that means beginning to clean the house, starting with that fucking worm in the kitchen. It's so much easier to sit here staring blankly at "Daily Inspirational Quotes" on care2.com while drinking this foul over-sugared coffee.

I'm having a bad moment. It will go away almost immediately once I get up and start doing something good, like the dishes. But for some perverse reason I want to savour this misery for a little while longer.

I wrote it all in here first

From "Daily Inspirational Quotes" Oct. 2007:

Though my soul may set in darkness,
It will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night.
--Sarah Williams

That's kind of nice, isn't it?